The Book of Mittens, as detailed by Scribe Parr ~
This is from the Testament of the Plot Thickeners:
"Now twilight descended upon the Twenty who were gathered beside the shores of Ulixis.
The sky receded in a pale violet dome and starlings crossed overhead in the last summer light.
The waters broke gently upon the pebbly shore where the Twenty sat and it was nice there.
Soon the Twenty were joined by the Emperor who came down the path holding a small cat.
And the Emperor sat with them and spake:
Behold this small cat that was found amidst the cactus trees.
Wearing no collar and possessing no tag, henceforth let it be said that this is the Emperor's Cat and His name shall be Mittens.
And all who heard Him were amazed and they all stood up, then sat back down.
And each of the Twenty (except Perturabo, who was allergic to the Emperor's Cat) scratched Mittens behind His ear.
And to the just above the base of the tail did they scratch also - which Mittens liked very much.
And they told stories and they repeated jokes and chortled loudly late into the evening until finally the Eldar had enough and attacked them."The story of Mittens' Great Betrayal is a mystery. Some Imperial scholars have speculated that he was fed the warpstone-tainted meat of a Hrud Greyseer, but the Inquisition have had them all shot for mixing their games systems.
No, the actual truth is far more sinister...
During the attack on the Emperor's Palace, a unit of Emperor's Children Terminators found Mittens dozing on the telly. There, they spent the rest of the battle rubbing his belly, giggling, and feeding him catnip. In the end, Mittens was picked up by the scruff of his neck and dragged mewling into the Eye of Terror, where he has been tomming on various Daemon Worlds ever since.
Mittens counts as an HQ choice, but does not count toward the minimum HQ requirement. Mittens is Unique.
Points: 40
Ws Bs S T W I A Ld Sv
3 0 3 3 2 6 2 10 4+/3+
Weapons: Claws
Special rules:
Due to the influencing nature of the Warp, Mittens is an Eternal Warrior.
Infiltrator
Independent Character.
Underfoot: Models count as being in difficult terrain, and suffer -3 to both WS and BS.
Mittens may chose to be Underfoot at the start of any Assault phase. Mittens has a 3+ Invulnerable save when Underfoot. Mittens may not attack for that turn.
Pritty Kitty: Any engaged model attempting to attack Mittens in the Assault phase must pass a Morale check to do so, or they will start petting him, suffering Underfoot in the process.
Allergies: Iron Warriors are allergic, so they cannot take Mittens. World Eaters pretend to be allergic, so they cannot take Mittens.
Bad Dog: Kharn the Betrayer and Fenrisian Wolves will abandon their masters to chase Mittens if he is within 24" of them.
